I’ve seen the following quote circulating on  the internet and it has even been sent to me via text or DM. I have no idea who the author is, but it’s an excellent segue into our conversation on this #FaceitFridayswithDalya .

“One of the greatest lessons that adults need to learn is meeting people where they are and to stop writing friends off for being themselves. This whole "we aren't friends because they didn't check on me or they didn't support me" or they “never reach out first” narrative is lame. People are out here struggling to just stay above water every second of every day, working through their own challenges. There are people out here going through  major depression, financial trouble, family trouble, self trouble, health issues, abuse, work issues, deaths and separation and they are supposed to constantly check in on YOU to be your friend? My friendship doesn't have requirements. It doesn't have guidelines or quotas. When I love you, I love you. You will forever have my love and support.” Author Unknown

I agree with most of what is said here. Friendships can be complicated. We bring into them different personalities, backgrounds, family dynamics and sometimes past trauma. You never know what people are going through unless they share it with you and even then you still may not have the whole story. No matter what you bring to the relationship, you need friends. Not a lot of them, but a small circle of people who get you, challenge you, encourage you, and are not afraid to tell you the truth. You aren’t meant to go through life alone. Community and relationships are everything and if there is mutual respect it can survive the test of time. If we’re honest there will be many tests, but a true friend will pass every one of them.

Genuine friendships are priceless! Love hope, joy, forgiveness, belonging, heathy dialogue, peace and acceptance are all a part of a good one.

We need each other. We need healthy relationships as much as we need healthy boundaries. There’s a balance. In that balance there is discernment. Know when and who. Know your how and your why.

Don’t be a part of “The Cancel Culture”. Be the one, who like Jesus, looks beyond faults and see needs. We are created in his image right? Then our everyday life should reflect that image. It should look like Jesus among the earth. It should feel like Jesus when we touch our brother or sister. When we make ourselves available and not throw people away because they wild out or think differently than us we are being like Jesus.

Canceling folks really is lame. It’s hurtful. There will come a day when you will need somebody. You will need their listening ear and their compassionate heart. You will need their safe space and their no judgment zone. You will need to know you’re not alone.

I was speaking to someone a couple of months ago and they told me they don’t do social media. They said it’s too much and everything is so negative and depressing. I was like who you are following? I don’t know of anyone that I follow that is depressing or negative. I do know a couple of them that may be a little pessimistic, which can be annoying, but I have the option to unfollow them. I don’t have to engage with anyone on Social Media who does not align with my values, morals or beliefs and neither do you. When the internet is used in the right way it has so many wonderful benefits. I’m churchy, positive and all about wellness so those are the things I gravitate towards on and off the internet. I don’t have to cancel folks or delete my page. I just choose what aligns with where I am and where I’m going.

At the end of the day I’m not cancelling folks because they don’t think or move like me. If I feel a persons heart is genuine and they have pure motives that’s enough for me to work with. If the opposite is true, I’m not throwing you away, I’m praying for you that God will show me ways to better understand you as a person. I’ve been cancelled by people who I thought were really good friends. It hurt at first, but I quickly realized that it wasn’t me it was them. They have since circled back around and apologized and we’ve moved forward. Now if you are downright evil, I’m leaving you at the altar🤣 No seriously, this is where healthy boundaries and protecting your peace comes into play. Those kind of people need more help than you’re able to give or provide by being in their life. So instead of canceling them pray that God leads them to the right person that can help them navigate through their trauma because somewhere along the way that’s exactly what has taken place. Some traumatic experience has left them not knowing how to deal with certain situations in their life or with people.

We have to learn to extend grace when it’s warranted. Pray for people and don’t be so quick to cancel them. You never know what a person has experienced or is experiencing. There’s a lot going on in the world. Everybody is going through a storm, been through one or coming out of one. Be kind. Be understanding. Be slow to anger. Don’t be so quick to burn bridges. You never know when you may need to go back across them. People have feelings. There’s enough strife and conflict in the world without us falling out with folks who are close to us. The world needs more love, not hate.

Let’s continue #NormalizingHardConversations! In doing so we engage in healthy dialogue when there is a disagreement. It may seem heavy at first, but if you keep at it I know from experience it becomes lighter. There’s a gospel song by Hezekiah Walker that says “I need you, you need me, we’re all a part of Gods body. Stand with me, agree with me, we’re all a part of Gods body. It is his will that every need be supplied. You are important to me, I need you to survive. You are important to me I need you to survive.” This is so true! I need you. I really do! I’m not about “The Cancel Culture”. If someone cancels me, they usually circle back because I am a genuinely loving individual with a pure heart. I see good in everyone, and if I sense anything less than I consider that something along their journey has harden their hearts and I need to pray for them. We are all a work in progress. Keep working on yourselves and be light to those around you. Love covers!

I love y’all! 🤎

#FaceitFridayswithDalya

#NormalizingHardConversations

Doing all things well,

Dalya