I’ll Always Love my Momma
As I prepared to write this piece the scripture that came to mind was Exodus 20:12. One of the Ten Commandments that tells us to Honor Thy Father and Mother so that our days may be long on the earth. There was a question I ran across as I continued to do research that asked “what does it mean to biblically honor your parents”. I thought that was an interesting question. The answer was even more intriguing. It says: “To honor and respect our parents means that we have a high regard for them. We love and appreciate them and are concerned about their happiness and well-being. We treat them with courtesy and thoughtful consideration. We seek to understand their point of view.”
I think in my 56 years of living I have been the joy of my Mother’s heart. It’s true. Ask her. My mother has 2 children. My brother and I were raised together by my mom. I have other siblings by my dad. My brother, however, that I grew up in the house with probably thinks he’s my mother’s favorite, but we both know the truth🤣. No seriously, we have both in our own way made every effort to honor our Mother every chance we get. You only get one. Although, there are many mothers, aunties and sisters that certainly step in and become your village, biologically there’s only one that ushers you into the Universe.
I have family members and friends however, who don’t necessarily have a good relationship with their biological mother. I would venture to say most times it’s due to some kind of trauma or experience they had as a child that was never really discussed in a healthy way. Unfortunately the resentment and failure to work through certain issues followed them into adulthood. It also may have been their mother’s trauma that trickled into her child rearing which we refer to sometimes as generational curses. I know for me, when I look back over my childhood I can remember instances where my mother made some decisions that may not have been in my best interest, but when it came to her children I know in her heart she did the best she could with the knowledge she had at that time, always wanting the best for us and never intentionally hurting us. If I take a trip down memory lane when it comes to my own parenting, I can certainly recall times when I made some not so good choices that could have or may have traumatized my daughter in some way, but I too tried to do the best I could for her. What I know for sure is my intentions were always pure and from a place of concern and love.
It’s easy for us to place blame on our parents for some of the ways we have moved through our lives in familial as well as other relationships. The hard work begins when we recognize the cycles that have plagued our families and communicate better while trying to understand the lessons instead of focusing on what went wrong. On this #FaceitFridayswithDalya I want to acknowledge that no matter what I think of how my Mother raised me, what she did right or wrong, she is due honor.
If I consider genetics alone, the women in my family live a long time. My grandmother lived to be 95, her only living sibling, my Aunt Lillie will be 103 in February, if God says the same. My mom is 77 and relatively in good health. She still travels. A little less since COVID, but she’s always ready to get on a plane. I’m probably going to live well into my 80’s or 90’s so I want to live these years that I have while she’s still living making sure my Mother knows how much I appreciate every sacrifice she’s made and that I love her dearly. Since I will be around for a while. I want my daughter to do the same☺️.
Today my Mother and I are traveling to New York. When I was a kid I remember mom taking Tennis lessons at the Community College. She’s always been an avid Tennis fan. Watches it day and night no matter who’s serving. When I told her about a month ago that I was taking her to the U S Open, she cried like a baby. She said her heart started to race and she was so overwhelmed. I know that it’s been on her bucket list and I’m so honored and blessed to be able to take her. I take every opportunity I have to be a blessing to my mom. My career has allowed me to bless her with unlimited traveling, and she’s even been to places I haven’t been, like Hawaii (can’t believe I’ve never been to Hawaii 🤦🏽♀️). My brother and I assist her monthly with bills since she is on a fixed income. It’s a blessing to be financially able to do it. I’m not saying all of this to brag, but to encourage you to love on your parents and find ways to honor them. It doesn’t always have to cost you anything, but time, love and patience.
I’ve never understood why or how, especially women, don’t have good relationships with their mother. Sometimes I think it goes back to what I mentioned earlier. There may have been some traumatic experience as a child that you may subconsciously blame them for or a bad decision they made that you didn’t agree with. Whatever it is or was, I encourage you to lend them grace. So much of that same grace has been given to you when you weren’t your best. You only have one mother. One opportunity to show up for her and honor her. None of us were given manuals on parenting. So much of it we learned along the way.
If you’ve had an estranged relationship with either of your parents, pray about getting it right. You probably have other relationships in your life that you nurture more than that of you and your parents. Think about that. Sit in that thought for just a moment. They gave birth to you. Maybe they gave you up or weren’t there for you. Forgive them. Honor who God allowed to pick up the pieces and see to it that you thrived anyway.
As we are #NormalizingHardConversations talk to your parents. Find ways to honor them. Mend what is broken, if anything. Nurture what you do have in a parent. Despite their imperfections honor thy Father and thy Mother.
May I suggest just a few ways you can honor your parents:
•If there’s anything you have held against them, forgive them. Lend them grace.
•Spend quality time with them
•Listen to them. Be present.
•Stop by and surprise them with just your presence.
•Pay a bill. Reoccurring if possible.
•Have groceries or meals delivered to them.
•Drop then a card in the mail every now and then.
•Be kind to them, that should go without saying, but reminders are always good😉
•Worship with them
•Travel with them
Think of some other ways you can show your parents you love and appreciate them.
The song “I’ll always love my Momma” by The Intruders, truly speaks the sentiments of my heart. That part about feeling bad when I think of all the things I used to do is my brother Karl, not me 🤣but coincidentally my mom did have her own cleaning business prior to retiring over 20 years ago. So yeah , this is my song!
Singing:
“I’ll always love my mama
She's my favorite girl
I'll always love my mama
She brought me in this world
Sometimes I feel so bad
When I think of all the things I used to do
How mama used to clean somebody elses house
Just to buy me a new pair of shoes
I never understood how mama made it through the week
When she never ever got a good night's sleep
Talking 'bout mama
She's one of a kind
Talking 'bout mama
You've got your yours, and I've got mine
Talking 'bout mama
Oh, hey mama, hey mama, my heart belongs to you
I'll always love my mama
She's my favorite girl
You only get one, you only get one, yeah
I'll always love my mama
She brought me in this world
A mother's love is so special
It's something that you can't describe
It's the kind of love that stays with you
Until the day you die
She taught me little things like "Say Hello and Thank you, please"
While scrubbing those floors on her bended knees
Talking 'bout mama
She's one of a kind
Talking 'bout mama
You've got your yours and I've got mine
Talking 'bout mama
Oh, hey mama, hey mama, my heart belongs to you
I'll always love my mama
She's my favorite girl
You only get one, you only get one
I'll always love my mama
She brought me in this world
I'll always love my mama
I'll always love my mama
I'll always love my mama
I'll always love my mama
I'll always love my mama
I'll always love my mama
I'll always love my mama
I'll always love my mama
I'll always love my mama
She's my favorite girl
I'll always love my mama
She brought me in this world
I'll always love my mama
I'll always love my mama
I'll always love my mama
I'll always love my mama
I'll always love my mama
I'll always love my mama
I know for a fact that I am immeasurably blessed because of how I care for my mom. Likewise, my mother is blessed because even when my grandmother suffered with Alzheimers, she and her siblings took excellent care of her.
Love on your moms! You only get to have one. Mend what is broken. Work on your relationship with them. Be kind, understanding and patient.
Have an amazing weekend!
#FaceitFridayswithDalya
#NormalizingHardConversations
Doing all things well,
Dalya
